Child Rearing

A little backstory:
I'm not really sure what the problem was with my parents.  I didn't wear "big girl panties" until I was 4 years old.  I also carried around a bottle until I was around this age.  This may jive with you if you are a parent but we don't play that at my house.  Beckham was off bottles at 1 year and he's potty trained at 23 months.  I could go into my whole parenting philosophy on this but I won't - and I typically don't judge other parents on how they want to raise their kids.  But I'm judging the hell out of Curtis and Nina in this story - because, to me, this is pure ridiculousness. 

According to one of my mom's friends, I would sit in the backseat,  open the bottle, pour my mom's Sonic Iced Tea into it and close it back up all on my own.  I mean, there are a lot of red flags here - 1) why was I drinking iced tea?  2) why was I still drinking from a bottle at that age?  3) why were my parents doing nothing about it?

Curtis:  What'd ya'll do today?  Did you go out to eat or anything?

Me:  We don't really go out to eat anymore because of Beckham.

Curtis:  Because of Beckham??!

Me:  Yeah.  The potty training issue.  We don't really take him out right now.  We are waiting until we are sure he can hold it if needed.

Curtis:  Well just take him to the potty if he has to go.  Like I did you.

Me:  Like you did me when I was 4 years old?

Curtis:  You were potty trained before 4.  You just liked to wear your diaper.  It's kind of like your bottle.  You just liked to carry it around.    You were weird.  You just have to accept that you were a weird baby. 

Me:  I don't understand this.  I mean, YOU were the parent.  Why didn't you just take the bottle away?  Maybe my parents were the weird ones - did you ever think about that?  It's weird you'd let me make the decisions about my own potty training and bottle.

Curtis:  Hehehe.  Well I guess you've got a point there.  It broke your heart so bad if we said anything to you about it.  I just couldn't stand to see you sad.

Me:  Sounds like I've been your boss since I was 4.

Curtis:  You've been my boss since you were born.

Snakes

My dad lives in a subdivision that is outside of town.  There are woods and fields that border the subdivision.  Its East Texas.  I have to preface this story with that information so you know he's living somewhat out in the country.

Curtis:  I saw a snake last night.  Big snake.  Well not really big - about 2 feet long.

Me:  A snake??  What kind?

Curtis:  Copperhead.

Me:  That's scary.

Curtis:  He was real pretty.  A real pretty snake.  Kinda rusty colored.

Me: Did you kill it?

Curtis:  Well I didn't have anything to kill it with.  Its kinda hard to fight snakes in the dark.

Me:  I can imagine.

Curtis:  I've seen more snakes this year then I've ever seen before.  One of my workers killed a bull snake.  Not my pet snake.  That was a bull snake too.

Me:  I'm sorry, there were TWO bull snakes around there?

Curtis:  Yes but only one was my pet.  The one that lived in the garage.  I call him "pet" but I didn't pet him any.  I don't pet snakes.

Me:  Thank God for that.

Curtis:  I better let you go.  I gotta go out there and cut off the water.

Me:  Well be careful Dad. It sounds like you've got 1000 snakes around there. The last thing I need is you getting bit by a snake.

Curtis:  Aw, hell. I don't want to get bit by a snake.  I'm careful.  I look for them now.