I talk to my dad every day as I commute home from work. This conversation happened on my way home from work yesterday:
Me: What are you doing?
Curtis: I'm watching a fight.
Me: What fight?
Curtis: Wolfs. Um, I mean, Wolves.
Me: Oh. When you said fight I thought you meant people.
Curtis: No. Wolves. Like, ARHWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Me: ...
Curtis: ...
Me: Did you just howl?
Curtis: Yeah...Yeah, I did.
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
Long Pants
Curtis: I really like these shoes you got me.
Me: The crocs?
Curtis: Yeah. They're pretty comfortable. Tennis Shoes make my feet so hot.
Me: Well that's good.
Curtis: I used to wear sandals a lot a long time ago. You know for a long time, your daddy was the only one around town who would wear shorts.
Me: What do you mean? What was everyone else wearing?
Curtis: Oh you know....long pants.
Me: Are you saying you pioneered short wearing around Mineola?
Curtis: I wouldn't say that exactly. But...yeah.
Me: The crocs?
Curtis: Yeah. They're pretty comfortable. Tennis Shoes make my feet so hot.
Me: Well that's good.
Curtis: I used to wear sandals a lot a long time ago. You know for a long time, your daddy was the only one around town who would wear shorts.
Me: What do you mean? What was everyone else wearing?
Curtis: Oh you know....long pants.
Me: Are you saying you pioneered short wearing around Mineola?
Curtis: I wouldn't say that exactly. But...yeah.
Monday, August 10, 2015
Don't insult the man's driving...
Me: I told my grandparents I would bring Beckham to see them around his birthday instead of them coming to the party. I don't want them driving in Dallas.
Curtis: Do you want me to go get them and bring them up?
Me: I don't think your driving is much better than theirs.
Curtis: You're just insulting!
Me: Do you or do you not blow through the stop signs around Mineola like they're optional?
**click**
Me: Hello?
Monday, August 3, 2015
Sandwiches
Curtis: I slept sort of fitfully last night...not real good. I think I ate too much.
Me: What did you eat?
Curtis: Remember I told you - Subway, but not Subway - that sandwich place on the loop.
Me: Oh that's right - Subway, not Subway. I remember now.
Curtis: I still got a whole half of that foot-long left. Now I don't know if I'm gonna eat dinner tonight or not.
Me: Keep it light maybe?
Curtis: I guess if I get hungry later I'll go in there and make me a sandwich.
Me: ........uh, why would you make a sandwich when you have a sandwich left over?
Curtis: Its too big!
Me: Well just cut it in half.
Curtis: Hm....That's a good idea.
Me: I thought you were a pretty good problem solver, Dad.
Curtis: He he he...Well I am when I'm not tired.
Me: What did you eat?
Curtis: Remember I told you - Subway, but not Subway - that sandwich place on the loop.
Me: Oh that's right - Subway, not Subway. I remember now.
Curtis: I still got a whole half of that foot-long left. Now I don't know if I'm gonna eat dinner tonight or not.
Me: Keep it light maybe?
Curtis: I guess if I get hungry later I'll go in there and make me a sandwich.
Me: ........uh, why would you make a sandwich when you have a sandwich left over?
Curtis: Its too big!
Me: Well just cut it in half.
Curtis: Hm....That's a good idea.
Me: I thought you were a pretty good problem solver, Dad.
Curtis: He he he...Well I am when I'm not tired.
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Happy Birthday
Me: Did you have a good birthday?
Curtis: Yeah, pretty good. I got some nice cards and the girls at the restaurant gave me a decorated piece of cake. I guess Jim told everyone it was my birthday.
Me: Well I'm glad you made it to 74 Dad.
Curtis: Hehe. I'm glad I made it to 74 too. But I got a lotta good years left in me, kid.
Me: I think so too, Daddy. I think so too.
Monday, February 23, 2015
Movies
A little back story on this one...
For a little while my dad went without cable as a sort of silent protest against cable companies. He fought with one after another about pricing, service, you name it. So he swore them off. During this time he watched movies he got out of the $2 movie bin at Wal-Mart. One of these included a film called Mother Load. I had never heard of this movie before and sat down to watch it with Curtis one night. It's a dark story and the only thing I really remember is a crazed Charlton Heston crying repeatedly, "It's the Mother Load!" You can read about it here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084359/ Now whenever Curtis tells me he's watching a movie my first guess is always Mother Load.
Also, he has since ended his protest and re-joined the world of cable subscribers; complete with a few movie channels...
Me: What are you doing?
Curtis: Well I'm watching this movie. I've already seen it about 4 times.
Me: Mother Load?
Curtis (annoyed): No, Lesley. It's not Mother Load. It's, um, oh whats the name of it.......Maid in Manhattan.
Me: Hahaha. The one with Jennifer Lopez?
Curtis: Yeah I think that's her. Well it was either Space Odyssey, Tombstone, or this one.
Me: So, you chose Maid in Manhattan? And you've watched it 3 other times before now?
Curtis: Yep. I like to think I have diverse taste in movies.
For a little while my dad went without cable as a sort of silent protest against cable companies. He fought with one after another about pricing, service, you name it. So he swore them off. During this time he watched movies he got out of the $2 movie bin at Wal-Mart. One of these included a film called Mother Load. I had never heard of this movie before and sat down to watch it with Curtis one night. It's a dark story and the only thing I really remember is a crazed Charlton Heston crying repeatedly, "It's the Mother Load!" You can read about it here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084359/ Now whenever Curtis tells me he's watching a movie my first guess is always Mother Load.
Also, he has since ended his protest and re-joined the world of cable subscribers; complete with a few movie channels...
Me: What are you doing?
Curtis: Well I'm watching this movie. I've already seen it about 4 times.
Me: Mother Load?
Curtis (annoyed): No, Lesley. It's not Mother Load. It's, um, oh whats the name of it.......Maid in Manhattan.
Me: Hahaha. The one with Jennifer Lopez?
Curtis: Yeah I think that's her. Well it was either Space Odyssey, Tombstone, or this one.
Me: So, you chose Maid in Manhattan? And you've watched it 3 other times before now?
Curtis: Yep. I like to think I have diverse taste in movies.
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Powerball
Me: I just called to see if you won the powerball?
Curtis: Well, I don't know. I haven't checked my ticket. I may have won.
Me: Well I know Jacob didn't win.
Curtis: Why's that?
Me: He called and said "I didn't win the powerball...so I guess I'll stay married to you."
Curtis: Hehehehe. Well you're a better prize than the powerball any day.
Me: Aw...thanks daddy.
Curtis: Well, I don't know. I haven't checked my ticket. I may have won.
Me: Well I know Jacob didn't win.
Curtis: Why's that?
Me: He called and said "I didn't win the powerball...so I guess I'll stay married to you."
Curtis: Hehehehe. Well you're a better prize than the powerball any day.
Me: Aw...thanks daddy.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Government Workers
Me: What'd you do today?
Curtis: Well I tried calling the VA to track down this old man we take to the doctor.
Me: Sounds like a mess.
Curtis: It was crazy. I told that guy on the phone: "You're a typical government worker. You don't know your ass from a hole in the ground."
Me: You know your daughter used to work for the government.
Curtis: Who?
Me: Your daughter!
Curtis: Oh well there's a reason you don't work there any more. You're too smart.
Curtis: Well I tried calling the VA to track down this old man we take to the doctor.
Me: Sounds like a mess.
Curtis: It was crazy. I told that guy on the phone: "You're a typical government worker. You don't know your ass from a hole in the ground."
Me: You know your daughter used to work for the government.
Curtis: Who?
Me: Your daughter!
Curtis: Oh well there's a reason you don't work there any more. You're too smart.
Monday, February 2, 2015
Conversing with...Beckham
Me: We are installing some lights on the bar...does it matter if we use the ground wire?
Curtis: You don't need to ground those.
Beckham: yaaahhhh...eeee...grrrrrr....ek!
Curtis: I couldn't understand you. What'd you just say?
Me: That wasn't me Dad. That was the baby.
Curtis: Oh. Well, I wondered why you sounded so strange.
Curtis: You don't need to ground those.
Beckham: yaaahhhh...eeee...grrrrrr....ek!
Curtis: I couldn't understand you. What'd you just say?
Me: That wasn't me Dad. That was the baby.
Curtis: Oh. Well, I wondered why you sounded so strange.
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