Curtis: Went to my doctor today to get the results from my blood work.
Me: And?
Curtis: He says everything looks great. He said keep doin' what I'm doin'.
Me: Did you tell him you were smoking?
Curtis: No. He didn't ask.
Me: Your cardiologist didn't ask if you were still smoking? I find that hard to believe. Did he say anything about your weight?
Curtis: No, no he didn't. I'm down 4 lbs to 230.
Me: Dad, Jacob weighs less than that and he is, like, 8 inches taller than you.
Curtis: How tall is he? 6'2"? He's not that much taller than me. I'm 5'9"
Me: You are NOT 5'9". I'm just shy of 5'8" and you are shorter than me.
Curtis: That's what I measured at the doctor's office! You're saying they measured wrong?
Me: The same "doctor" who doesn't say anything to you about smoking or your diet also said you were 5'9"?
Curtis: I don't know what to tell you about that. That's what he said.
Me: Hmmm...I think maybe this doctor visit happened differently in your head than what actually happened in the office.
Curtis: Ok, Lesley. You're so smart, you know everything.
Me: I'm just saying, I'll bet you $50 you're not 5'9". I'll measure you next time you come up here.**
Curtis: Alright. But you can't cheat.
**I did, in fact, measure him. He is 5'7 3/4". His response was "huh. i musta shrunk."
I let him keep his $50.
