Check ups

Curtis:  Went to my doctor today to get the results from my blood work.

Me:  And?

Curtis:  He says everything looks great.  He said keep doin' what I'm doin'.

Me:  Did you tell him you were smoking?

Curtis:  No.  He didn't ask.

Me:  Your cardiologist didn't ask if you were still smoking?  I find that hard to believe.  Did he say anything about your weight?

Curtis:  No, no he didn't.  I'm down 4 lbs to 230.

Me:  Dad, Jacob weighs less than that and he is, like, 8 inches taller than you.

Curtis:  How tall is he?  6'2"?  He's not that much taller than me.  I'm 5'9"

Me:  You are NOT 5'9".  I'm just shy of 5'8" and you are shorter than me.

Curtis:  That's what I measured at the doctor's office!  You're saying they measured wrong?

Me:  The same "doctor" who doesn't say anything to you about smoking or your diet also said you were 5'9"?

Curtis:  I don't know what to tell you about that.  That's what he said.

Me:  Hmmm...I think maybe this doctor visit happened differently in your head than what actually happened in the office.

Curtis:  Ok, Lesley.  You're so smart, you know everything.

Me:  I'm just saying, I'll bet you $50 you're not 5'9".  I'll measure you next time you come up here.**

Curtis:  Alright.  But you can't cheat.


**I did, in fact, measure him.  He is 5'7 3/4".  His response was "huh.  i musta shrunk."
I let him keep his $50.